Guy can Fawkes off!
Have they stopped?
Apologies for the lack of posts. It's down to the absence of an internet connection underneath the bed where the cat and I have been hiding from the fireworks. I don't even have a cat so I borrowed my Mothers so that I had an excuse to hide. Or at least some company, the cat wanted to leave on Monday but I wasn't so sure. But it was me that got a bit bored in the end due to the cat's limited conversation, there's not much interesting about mice, birds and the packet or can food debate.
I hate fireworks, there's nothing worse than being around grown men with small explosives. It's not that I hate fireworks, I probably hate the idea of fireworks more than I actually dislike fireworks - I just don't see any need to have them anywhere other than organised displays. And it always seems to be the men too - I can't ever remember seeing a woman setting light to something, other than CJ and that tea towel episode we still don't talk about. It must be similar to a car thing.
Organised fireworks parties I can understand. I'm all for them. I knew this years bonfire night wasn't going to go well when CJ and I turned up for the local pub's bonfire only to find the charred remains of an extravaganza that we were 24 hours late for. Call me daft but I was always taught that Guy Fawkes did his deed on the 5th. Not the 4th. Or the 6th. Or anyday in October.
On Saturday some wazark on the street decided he was going to set fire to an arms dump in his back garden. That can be the only explanation for the 20 minutes of banging. I thought we were being attacked. There were no whizzes, screeches and oohs and aaahs. His portfolio of fireworks extended to:
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
You get the idea. For about 20 minutes. No pretty colours. No oooohs. Just bang. And more bangs. I'll give him his dues though, it was pretty consistent - no long delays before the next big bang. His timing was immaculate. I bet his kids were thrilled with their Father's cleverness.
"Daddy, have you got any pretties?"
"No son, bangs are where it's at. The louder the better!"
I even got up off the settee at one point and had a look to see what the problem was, I fully expected to see a small infantry brigade scurrying down the street.
My neighbour seemed to have a response strategy rather than have an actual fireworks party of his own. His tact was to wait until he heard a bang in the vicinity before racing out of the house to set one of his rockets off before racing back in again, only to emerge again when anyone else had the temerity to challenge his stash.
I got up the next day to find my garden littered with sticks and blackened fireworks, the top of the car covered in some sort of ash and a shed full of grumpy hedgehogs with singed spikes who'd been woken up to early. The garden is a no go area in the winter as it is (due to frog potential) so they'll have to wait till spring before getting cleared.
Only 360 days to go till the next one. Can't wait.
Apologies for the lack of posts. It's down to the absence of an internet connection underneath the bed where the cat and I have been hiding from the fireworks. I don't even have a cat so I borrowed my Mothers so that I had an excuse to hide. Or at least some company, the cat wanted to leave on Monday but I wasn't so sure. But it was me that got a bit bored in the end due to the cat's limited conversation, there's not much interesting about mice, birds and the packet or can food debate.
I hate fireworks, there's nothing worse than being around grown men with small explosives. It's not that I hate fireworks, I probably hate the idea of fireworks more than I actually dislike fireworks - I just don't see any need to have them anywhere other than organised displays. And it always seems to be the men too - I can't ever remember seeing a woman setting light to something, other than CJ and that tea towel episode we still don't talk about. It must be similar to a car thing.
Organised fireworks parties I can understand. I'm all for them. I knew this years bonfire night wasn't going to go well when CJ and I turned up for the local pub's bonfire only to find the charred remains of an extravaganza that we were 24 hours late for. Call me daft but I was always taught that Guy Fawkes did his deed on the 5th. Not the 4th. Or the 6th. Or anyday in October.
On Saturday some wazark on the street decided he was going to set fire to an arms dump in his back garden. That can be the only explanation for the 20 minutes of banging. I thought we were being attacked. There were no whizzes, screeches and oohs and aaahs. His portfolio of fireworks extended to:
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
BANG!! 1 second gap
You get the idea. For about 20 minutes. No pretty colours. No oooohs. Just bang. And more bangs. I'll give him his dues though, it was pretty consistent - no long delays before the next big bang. His timing was immaculate. I bet his kids were thrilled with their Father's cleverness.
"Daddy, have you got any pretties?"
"No son, bangs are where it's at. The louder the better!"
I even got up off the settee at one point and had a look to see what the problem was, I fully expected to see a small infantry brigade scurrying down the street.
My neighbour seemed to have a response strategy rather than have an actual fireworks party of his own. His tact was to wait until he heard a bang in the vicinity before racing out of the house to set one of his rockets off before racing back in again, only to emerge again when anyone else had the temerity to challenge his stash.
I got up the next day to find my garden littered with sticks and blackened fireworks, the top of the car covered in some sort of ash and a shed full of grumpy hedgehogs with singed spikes who'd been woken up to early. The garden is a no go area in the winter as it is (due to frog potential) so they'll have to wait till spring before getting cleared.
Only 360 days to go till the next one. Can't wait.
