Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Water Works

I'm beginning to wonder if I was born with all the bits I should have come packed with, or whether the bits that are there are beginning to malfunction. If I was a toy I'd be thinking about taking me back to the shop for a refund and writing a letter to the manufacturers complaining about sub-standard products. It's worrying at 31.

I say this because I think I've got some bits missing, or misfiring at least. The absence of a decent bladder seems to be the main cause for concern. Either that or I've had it removed totally whilst I wasn't looking. And replaced with a sponge. A full to capacity sponge.

My water retention, or lack of it, is getting a little concerning. I'm regular to say the least. Water goes through me as though my torso is empty of organs. It's getting to the point where I have to plan my fluid consumption so as to avoid putting myself in a compromising situation. Maybe I have the human equivalent of a washer that needs tightening.

A typical morning sees me having a drink then driving an hour or so to work before running through reception to the toilet. If there are any traffic hold ups then I'm jiggling in the seat trying to think of something a little less urgent. Anymore than an hours distance and I have to consider not drinking any fluid at all.

At work it's no different, I'll drink some water then have to go for a pee soon after. I have a drink of water before I go as I've convinced myself that it helps, the problem is that drinking before I go increases the urgency the more I drink - as though I'm topping it up. That can't be normal. People have started noticing.

I can't concentrate and I check exit routes thoroughly when in unfamiliar places. It's exactly the same at home except that I have to wind down drinking so as to avoid being woken up at night by an urge.

I do apologise for bringing this matter to your attention, but I feel better telling you.