Monday, June 14, 2004

Its just not cricket..

Its time to investigate alternative sporting past-times. Not only because its the summer and the domestic football season has ended, but because im getting a bit bored at being let down by the teams I follow. Its Euro 2004 i hear you cry, well that may be so but following England is becoming as much of a rocky road to despair as it is following Mansfield. Maybe i just need a rest.

Nottinghamshire Cricket Club are top of their league, and seem to be doing really well. There cant be many better things than sitting in the middle of a crowd on a sunny day get steadily sozzled. England are also in the throes of bit of success too, which is attracting the attention of more than just the cricket loving public. England tend to hit this apex of achievement just before the Aussies hit town to sit on their heads, nick their pocket money, copy their homework and make us realise England werent as good as we thought they were. This needs further investigation methinks, the weather has to be right and the potential for disappointment rivals football.

The Tennis season is upon us too, pretty soon middle aged women up and down the country will dust down the strawberries and Pimms and become ardent tennis followers cooing about Tiger Tim, whilst most of the male population will be waiting to lay into him and say 'told you so' when he bottles it again against some Croatian carpet layer. Playing tennis is never as easy as it looks either. Again, the disappointment potential is high for this game.

Somebody once said that golf is a good walk spoiled, and you cant really argue with that. Its a good game if you can hit the ball pretty straight, but you can add about 10 miles to a round if youre a bit of a zig-zagger. Added to the fact that you have to find some mates who can actually play golf too without getting bored and dont mind wearing all the clobber. There arent many more pressurised moments in sport than being a poor golfer and having to tee off in front of a group of about 12 people because of the backlog thats been formed by Gordon, Malcolm and their mates in front looking for their balls in a hedge bottom. Ive seen this pressure turn many a confident man into a blancmange. The dress code and rules tend to put me off too, but as long as you ignore them both fully then you can be excused for being a working class oik.

Rugby League seems to be a bit of a free for all, the rules obviously change every game. Im not sure if anyone actually knows them let alone the referee, it seems to be a real mess of a game if im brutally honest. Looks very painful, the whole purpose seeming to be taking it in turns to charge headlong into the nearest opposition player. No self respecting male can wear shorts that tight in public either. Avoid wherever possible.

Ive always liked Fishing, but ive only ever been when someone has a)lent me their tackle, b) set it up for me and c) taken the fish ive caught off the hook and put it back. So that doesnt leave a lot else for me to do other than sit on the bank and watch a float for 8 hours, whilst eating someone elses sandwiches and throwing maggots into the water. Its kind of Fishing without the effort, or outlay. So it could be argued that im not technically participating. Ive always wondered why fisherman get up really early in the morning too? Dont fish sleep as well?

Swimming, never been a sport. For kids, big kids and old people.

I dont really have an opinion on Athletics, i cant really get excited by something that seems to be populated more and more by people obtaining a narcotic edge. I'll watch the Olympics when there's some Brit involved but wont go out of my way.

So thats kind of it really, there doesnt seem to be anything else. Makes you wonder why we bother with it all doesnt it?