Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Boiler Issues

My boiler has been broken for some weeks now, certainly since before Christmas. As is usual with any plumbing requirements I might have, I give my mate a ring. As is usual with my plumbing mate - he has no fucking clue.

A couple of years ago I had water dripping through my kitchen ceiling - the bath and shower is directly above the leak so it was obvious that was the source - I just didnt know how. I got him out to have a look and after about an hour of umming and ahhing, he couldn't find the problem so left me with it. I rang a plumber from the yellow pages who found the problem within 2 minutes and charged me £70 for coming out and 35p for parts - a fingertip full of silicone to seal around the tap and stop the water from the shower trickling through.

Anyway, my mates esteemed conclusion was that the boiler problem could be one of 3 things - none of which he wanted to commit to because it might not actually be it - and buying parts would cost me. One of the 3 things was a new boiler.

"You might want to get someone out to have a look at it" he said as he packed his toolbox up and left.

"I thought I just fucking did" I shouted after him.

Anyway, having the boiler not working wasnt really a problem because the hot water still worked - magically I assumed, and I borrowed a couple of oil filled heaters from my brother. The house was actually warmer than it was when the heating worked. So this suited my general apathetic, 'not arsed' approach to life right down to the ground.

Lately however, I've been getting a bit bored with the freezing kitchen so I decided to get it sorted. I rang a guy from the Yellow Pages and he was actually very good. Well, when I say good - what I mean is that he was a nice man.

He came round, ummed and ahhed for a bit and narrowed the problem down to one of 2 things. He decided to go with the problem which required the cheapest spare part, and then went away, came back a couple of days later and fitted it. The boiler still didnt work.

Because the other option he'd narrowed it down to meant an expensive spare part, he suggested giving a business who carried out fixed cost repairs a call because they would do it for cheaper than it would cost him to get the part. Sounded like a good idea to me and to his credit he didnt charge me a penny for anything.

I rang someone else up yesterday, who sent someone straight out to have a look at it. He narrowed it down to one thing:

"You need a new gas valve" he said

This wasn't one of the thing that the previous guy had narrowed it down to when he had his 2 goes at it, or one of the things my mate narrowed it down to when he had his 3 goes at it. So lets hope we've finally got it sorted after 6 goes at it.

He's coming back today to fit it. You'll be able to tell if it does work because the polar icecaps will be half their usual size by the end of the day and there'll probably be a cyclone in Australia or something, as its going on maximum power for the full duration.

I saw my mate last night at football:

"Got someone in to sort the boiler, he's had a look at it today and is coming back tomorrow to fit the part..." I said

"Gas valve" my mate replied before I had chance to say what it was.

"Err...yes, how..?" I stammered, shocked.

"Thought it was" said my mate, confidently.

"Then why the fuck didnt you fucking fix it then you tit??"