Tuesday, November 01, 2011

The Bruno Mars question

Inspired by Mikes inability to give away his Bruno Mars Plus 1 – the Bruno Mars question:

"'Cause what you don't understand is that I'd catch a grenade for ya"

Bruno Mars has laid down his commitment to catch a grenade for you in song - well, I’d like to know who ‘you’ is exactly? Is he talking to all of us, or to one person in particular? ‘You’ has to be someone, or everyone. It’s probably in your best interests to find out whether it’s you, or not – just so that you can sleep a little easier at night. Or get cheaper life insurance.

It could even be me. If I was to listen to the song then I’d be well within my rights to think that he was talking to me and vowing a lifetime of grenade security on my behalf. It’s technically a contract. If its one person in particular then he’s literally going to have to be at the side of this person for the rest of their life, on the off chance that a grenade is dispatched in their general direction. There’s no point pledging to catching a grenade if at the precise moment you’re not looking one is launched at the person you’ve committed to catching a grenade for. But then why on Earth would you want to be with someone who has put themselves in a situation where grenades are likely to be thrown at them whilst they go about their everyday business? What have they done to get themselves into this position? There are easier relationships to be had.

Mr Mars is also very specific on the fact that it’s going to be a grenade. How does he know this? It sounds like there is something that he is not telling us. There are, according to the army study guide (I’ve done my research) 6 types of grenade, does his grenade catching obligations cover all 6, or are there loopholes and types of grenades that he wont catch? Would he be able to opt out of catching a particular type of grenade on a technicality? Is there a small print at the end of the song that I’ve not seen? *Catching grenade obligation only applies to grenades thrown between the hours of 7am and 11am and is restricted to illuminating grenades*.

Its admirable how he manages to go about his everyday business with this grenade catching vow hanging round his neck. He’s probably regretting ever saying it. It’s a modern day miracle that he’s managed to have a music career in spite of it, no wonder he’s writing songs about it – its probably all he ever thinks about, the only surprise is that there aren’t more songs about grenades – maybe there are more in the pipeline. How does he incorporate potential grenade catching into his show? It probably means that you increase your likelihood of being in the vicinity of some grenade related activity if you go to a Bruno Mars show. I only hope that the audience are aware of the dangers of the fact that there is possibly a grenade thrower in their midst. What happens if the person he is catching grenades for isn’t at his show – will he have to nip out at regular intervals if there is grenade throwing potential?

How exactly does he incorporate this grenade catching pledge with his commitment to jump in front of a train?