Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Boys in Blue Too

On the subject of the boys in blue (sorry Brent), it reminded me of an occasion earlier this year when I was stopped by them in the car.

I had a company car at the time and one of the headlights was less bright than the other one, it wasnt totally out, but it also wasnt totally working properly either. I'd known this for a few days, but as the car was going in for a service the following week I thought Id hang on till then to get the garage to do it for me.

One night, 2 members of Melton Mowbray section of the Leicestershire constabulary were passing time in a lay-by, obviously kicking their feet from having investigated all the crimes in the area at that particular time. They had also noticed my headlights, and fortunately for the public at large they now had time to stop me and let me know.

I saw the blue lights in my mirror as I was driving along, and after the initial micro-second thoughts of 'am I drunk?', 'am I legal?', 'am I unwittingly being used as a drugs mule by some major Colombian Mr Big?'. I realised that I had nothing to worry about. So I got out of the car.

"Get back in the car" a voice boomed from the wound down window of the police car. So I did. And re-assed my appraisal of the situation.

The Policeman then got out of his car and walked over to me. I wound the window down

"Do you know why Ive stopped you Sir?"

I resisted the sarcasm which tempted me, for I know that there is only one winner in a sarcasm battle with Her Majestys Finest.

"Errr, No?"

"Would you like to get out of the car Sir?"

So I did. He'd make up his mind.

He showed me the light. I pleaded innocence and begged him not to lock me up.

I didnt really, I told him that I would get it done straight away, but I wanted to tell him that.

He then took his time walking round the car inspecting every last detail, scowling when realising there was nothing else he could tell me off for. But he made up for it by taking his time to lecture me on the problem with a faulty light and that I should inspect my car more often and get it fixed as soon as possible.

"Dont worry, I will do" I cheerily told him,

"By the way, I noticed as you were following me that one of your lights is brighter than the other and was dazzling me" I helpfully pointed out. Congratulating myself on being a fine upstanding member of the community.

"Yes, well at least its brighter than yours" He responded. Straight faced.

I was thrown, the policeman had turned into a 5 year old.

"I just thought that you might want to know" I said

"I'd have asked if I wanted to know"

The brilliance of this comment didnt hit me till later. How would he have known to ask? Oh how I wished I had my time again.

"I dont want an argument, I just thought that you might like to know if one of your lights is faulty. Like you've let me know." I responded.

"We can have an argument about who the policeman is here if you want"

We didnt need to. That much was obvious.