Friday, October 15, 2004

The Blackpool Job..

Sorry, no updates this week as I've been on a work conference in Blackpool. **Yeah as if anyone's bothered Watski, it's just given us more time to read better blogs**

I'd totally forgotten what a hole Blackpool was. It took me about a minute of the place for my mind to regurgitate all those bad thoughts that it had kept from me for my own protection.

Blackpool is the kind of place where you do your 'first' things. I did many 'firsts' in Blackpool as a teenager on boozy weekends away, lads holidays and stag nights, which were consigned to a part of my life that was boxed up and labelled: 'teenage years - do not open'.

Although I am proud of doing another 'first' in Blackpool this week, I actually complained to someone. I'm a placid kind of guy normally, nothing really rattles me and I don't do complaining or shouting as, well I just can't be bothered getting worked up about something that's not life threatening. Except for this week. I'm definitely getting older.

I had to share a room with another guy from work, we got to the room about 4.00pm to find a double bed. Although he's a nice enough guy our relationship is purely business so thought that I'd better mention something to reception.

"Err hello, yes this is Room 420 - I'm sharing this room with a guy...*heart stops - what am I saying? Thought pops into head to either be a bit more specific about the reason for sharing or talk in a camp voice to eliminate any doubt*

...and although we're good friends I dont think our relationship has progressed enough to need the use of a double bed yet, thanks for the thought though. So can you either move us or get 2 singles put in the room.... *Thought pops into head wondering whether they think I mean 2 single people - I decide to let it ride*

...oh and can you bring an iron and ironing board please"

We then went to the bar.

The plan for the evening was a school disco party, we had to meet everyone in the bar at 7.30 to exchange laughs and comments about Britney Spears and all my stuff was still in all its packaging. I returned to the room about 6.50 to be greeted with nothing, well nothing that had changed anyway. No changed beds and no ironing stuff.

I rang reception to enquire.

"He's just on his way"

I thought about asking where it was he was coming from that would take him nearly 3 hours but decided not to. I regret it now, I might have brightened her day up with my wit and repartee. She probably would have just said 'tosser' after she put the phone down though, but I wouldn't have known and would have felt just as good.

7.10pm arrived and still no-one, 2 blokes had to both have showers and both iron clothes in 20 minutes. We could have saved time (and water) by showering together but felt that we didn't need the hassle that being caught might bring.

I decided to go and see what the problem was in person. Ably supported by about 5 pints.

"Hello, yes, over 3 hours ago I asked for the beds in the room to be changed and an iron and ironing board to be brought. Nothing has happened and now the ironing board at least is getting fairly urgent. Do you not understand me? Do I need to make myself clearer? Can I make it any easier for you? It's not hard is it? Please do it. Now."

I got back up to the room to find a man trying to break into it - I asked him what he was doing but he had a well rehearsed cover story - he said he was 'the porter', but I was still a little suspicious. He won me round by leaving an ironing board and promising to come back later to change the beds and stick my toothbrush into the toilet.

He didn't really say the second bit but thats what he would have done when I'd gone, so CJ said.