When good machines go bad...

Needing to draw out a bit of money to maintain my lavish lifestyle (pay some bills) I wandered up to the cash machine, inserted my card and entered the pin number.

"How much would you like to withdraw?" The big green letters asked me.

"Hmmm, well I need about £600." I thought, so I typed that number in.

"Sorry, you can only withdraw up to £400". The big green letters shouted again.

"Well ok, £400 it is" I said as I typed £400 in.

"Sorry, you can only withdraw up to £200." It flashed at me again.

"Oh, I see. Being like that are we? Well I'll have £200 then." I said as I typed £200 in.

"Sorry, incorrect pin. Would you like to try again?" It laughed at me.

I retyped the pin number, more carefully this time, making sure it was the right one.

"Sorry, incorrect pin. Would you like to try again?" It teased

"What and let you tell me it isn't the right one and confiscate my card to round off a good day. Sod that, give it here" I muttered as pressed the 'no I fucking dont want to try again you fucking stupid machine' button - which doesn't actually exist, but should - and retrieved my card out.

I swear I felt it hold onto the card a little longer than it normally does too.

As I walked away cashless I wondered whether the machine ever wanted to give me any money in the first place.