Monday, July 04, 2005

Mixing in the wrong circles

I've never met that many famous people in my life. Other than probably Arthur Scargill, oh and Neil Kinnock - if he's considered famous now. But other than that it seems that famous people have never wanted to meet Watski, they probably cant afford the security that comes with it.

Shed Seven were my early 20's heroes, I saw them live loads of times and bought everything they ever made, I was a real fan. Then one day in the window of the local HMV I saw a notice saying that they were going to be signing copies of their latest album at some point in the future.

Now, I'm going to tell you a secret here - between me and you, so don't tell anyone: my first name is Mark. As a tribute to me, Shed Seven made a record called 'Mark'. And as the song was written for me about me, I thought it would be a shame to deprive Shed Seven of the chance of meeting their inspiration. I was so cool at the time, I was also going to let Shed Seven quote a line from the song as the 'cd signing'. I was pretty pleased at being so cool.

So I turn up at the signing in my lunch hour in my oversized suit and am disappointed that I'm made to queue behind other people, and that I'm not being ushered to the front whilst girls scream and throw phone numbers at me. I consider telling the security guy that I am actually the Mark, but decide that it's best not to make a fuss and draw attention to myself - and it's probably best to take in the last few minutes of anonymity before being flung into celebritydom.

An hour later I'm at the front of the queue and I've been rehearsing the cool way I'm going to ask Rick Witter (the lead singer) to sign the line; 'Mark my words'.

"Can you sign it 'Mark my words' please Rick?"
I said in my rock and rollest way. And stand back waiting for the start of the rest of my life.

"Sure, one of my favourite songs - are you a Mark?" Rick replies

"Yes I am" I reply, so pleased that Rick knows my name and wants to be my best mate.

"I want to swop you for another" Rick added

Now this is another line of the song. I'm so overwhelmed by it all that I'm totally oblivious to the significance of what Rick has just said to me - the fact that Rick is talking to me in the special code that only we know has passed me by. The special code in which he has invited me to be his best mate, to also be part of the band and tour with them has gone unnoticed by a star struck kid in a big suit on his lunch hour.

So instead of accepting his kind offer, I instead acknowledge this invitation with:

"Oh thanks, bye".

If I'd have looked back I'm sure that Rick would have had his head in his hands and shedding a tear.

Or he probably thought I was a right tit.