Friday, July 02, 2004

Circus comes to town

Saturday night used to be the lads night out, always was and always was going to be. During these nights we'd drunkenly talk about how Saturday night should always be our lads nights no matter what marital situation we were in, how we would be going out on Saturday nights for ever more and that nothing was going to change that. How dare anybody even suggest anything different.

We'd pour scorn on those who did anything other than join our band of merrymen on the descent into alcoholic oblivion. Any one of our group who couldnt make it for whatever reason on a Saturday night had their sexuality questioned and was immediately given the badge of shame, it wasnt something we would forget in a hurry.

These days pass though and you sometimes find yourselves with other priorities and commitments on these nights. Sometimes you are thankful because the weathers not nice and you arent the 'go out in all weathers' that you used to be. Staying in becomes the new going out.

Last Saturday night going into town i noticed that it was raining, we didnt fancy getting wet so we walked slightly faster to our destination. I put my cashcard in the machine and was given 2 tickets. To see Shrek 2. I was at the pictures.

Shrek 2 is a film for kids, as is Shrek 1. Shrek 3 will probably be targetted at children. Finding Nemo, Toy Story and all the other animated films that have been released over the last few years are all films marketed at children.

But they are also stories that appeal to adults too. This is especially convenient for me, as i have no children and therefore no genuine reason to see a film for children. I feel better that these films are aimed with adults in mind as I have never laughed at any film more than i have laughed at these films. Knowing theyre written with me in mind is a comfort.

Walking out into Nottingham after Shrek you are in your own world of animation and colours only to have the tranquility shattered when faced with Nottingham regurgitating its night. Being sober at 11pm on a Saturday night in a City Centre is like walking around a fairground hall of mirrors. Its a very surreal place to be. A circus almost.

First act up is the jelly legged women. See them perform their fabulous balancing act on very high shoes whilst crossing the road eating chips and adjusting their clothing. And with them come the hyenas, talking rubbish and cackling very loudly.

Driving by next are the clowns in their cars with the windows down and the music on loudly, circling the city centre like Eagles in flight. The ejector seat buttons seem to be stuck though. The amazing element defying woman will now show you how to expose the most skin in the coldest temperatures whilst at the same time the very large contortionist will attempt to get into the smallest outfit possible.

See the amazing drunken balancing man walking down the road in as straight a line as he possibly can while attempting not to fall off the ground. Next up in this double act is his brother, the world reknowned drunken magician who will attempt to make his kebab re-appear.

The pride of lions are strutting around in their cages, growling at people and other lions while the ringmaster does his best to round them up and make sure they all get to the same place without any trouble or casualties. Whilst the parading horses canter by looking down their noses at everyone.

The gorillas are the final act of the night ensuring that your foray into the citys nightclubs is a safe one before the monkeys take you home in a taxi before stealing all your money.

Hope you enjoyed your trip to the circus ladies and gentlemen, please be sure to visit again.