Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Stabbed in the back

"Err, a medium black coffee please" I asked when at the counter of the local deli in New York

"Any milk?" the heavily accented Chinese girl behind the counter said.

"Err, no thanks"

"How would you like it?"

"The coffee? Black please"

"No, how would you like it?"

"Err, normal please, just a normal black coffee, no milk"

"Normal? No - how would you like it?"

"Just normal?"

Suddenly a gruffly voiced woman entered the conversation

"Reeegular" she said in that really cool hard bitten New York cop style. Why does the English accent just seem so nerdy, so uncool when in a conversation with an American? I was almost ashamed to talk for fear of being laughed at.

"Ah regular" the woman behind the counter said before returning with my hard earned coffee

"Thank you" I said to the assistant and to my helper before walking away

"You'd have thought they'd learn the language before they come here wouldn't you?" said my back-stabbing gruffly voiced saviour when she thought I wasn't in hearing distance. Or maybe she didn't care whether I was or not.

'Well the cheeky git' I thought, 'I am using the proper language, it's not my fault you lot have bastardised it beyond all recognition after we gave it you to look after all those years ago'.

I was just about to turn round and go and tell her this when:

"Come on" CJ said as she linked her arm in mine whilst reading my mind.