Friday, January 07, 2005


Everyone has an imaginary version of what they look like. For those times when you imagine yourself in a situation and there are no mirrors around to check. Do it yourself: Imagine yourself in a situation, then look in the mirror and see how far you are from the truth.

The perception of myself that I currently have in my mental image gallery is somewhere around that of an athletic teenager from 10 or so years ago. When I was in my prime.

I'm fooling no-one. Perception does not equal reality.

Not even close.

I am now becoming what is technically known as 'a fat git'. Or at least I think I am. I haven't done any real exercise for a few months now. My idea of exercise at the moment is to move the chocolate out of arms reach so that I have sit up and move more than my hands to get at it.

I used to fight it, but I don't even try to do that anymore. I was asked whether I go to the gym the other day - I used to answer 'well I try and do what I can' whenever anybody talked to me about exercise. This time I said 'do I look like I do?'. The next step from denial is self deprecation obviously.

But the downside of acceptance is that you actually do accept it and it becomes the norm. I must now be at the see saw of life - I can accept it forever, or I can do something about it.

I realised all of this the other night when I was lazing on the settee and caught myself attempting to use my belly as a balancing object for spare pieces of chocolate so that I didn't have to keep reaching across for it all the time.

It's wake up time.