Friday, March 18, 2005

Drawing it to a close..

Right, this is where I end the New York trip blogs.

'Yayyyy', I hear you all say. 'Thank the Lord for that, talk about flogging a dead horse'.

Ungrateful sods, in the name of blogging I sacrificed time and effort for you and went away to New York for 4 days so that I could come back with something interesting and inspirational to talk about. I didn't have to do it.

No I didn't find anything, you're right.

I think I've managed to get enough mileage out of it now and bore you lot rigid in the process since I got back, so I think it's only fair now that I wrap this up in history wrapping paper, pack it away in the archives and look elsewhere for inspiration next week. I'm not going to follow the Unlucky lead and flog the hell out of a weekend away.

Anyway, before it goes just a few other things that I noticed whilst I was there:

In the aforementioned deli and on previous trips I'd garnered a penchant for Hazelnut coffee, which I ordered when we went in for our usual breakfast on the Saturday morning.

"Sorry Sir, we don't do flavoured coffee at the weekends"my favourite assistant answered

"Why? The machine's there though isn't it?"i said as I pointed at the contraption from which the coffee was extracted the previous 2 days.

"Yes, but we dont switch it on at the weekends"

You'll be disappointed to know that I was too jet lagged, and too polite to make too bog a deal out of it.

Why would a hotel put just 3 pillows on a double bed? What kind of people do they think we are? Is it a ruse to get couples to fall out? Our hotel did, which resulted in CJ and I drawing lots each night for the extra pillow - which CJ won. All of them.

I had to resort to fluffing mine out with towels and blankets to get it to the required height. The maids didn't take the hint either, faithfully replacing the towels into the bathroom and the blankets in the wardrobe each day as though we'd casually mislaid them, leaving just the 3 pillows. Bollocks to the tip.

And I found that the American accent is exceedingly difficult to understand, a conversation just seems to be populated with loads of grunts and winks. It's a club they all seem to be in - ordering a sandwich seems to be something along the lines of "eyyy, greee, buteee, ferrr, duuu, mo" and that's it. And the other person knows what they mean. I've had an easier time understanding cantonese. I've never had to ask people to repeat themselves so many times. It got embarassing.

So that's it - I was going to tell you about how I noticed that Americans seem to have an aversion to sitting next to people they don't know in cafes. They'd rather stand than take a spare place at an almost empty table. I was also going to tell you that the sirens sound effeminate, a sort of 'wirp, wirrrp, wooooo', but I've run out of time.

Normal service is resumed soon. Well as normal as it's ever been.