Saturday, August 21, 2004

Prescott Watch: No.37 in a Series of 342

Its been a busy old water related week for John Prescott this week. Our hero is currently in charge of the country whilst Big Tone goes for a romantic holiday with the missus and kids and 400 Special Branch Officers.

Being the big nob with his finger over the button our hero decides to.... go on holiday as well. While the cats away and all that.

The Deputy Prime Minister decides to stay closer to home and this week was away on holiday in North Wales with his Special Branch protection, where he observed a kayaker in trouble in a river, as you do. With no thought for his own safety Mr Prescott immediately despatched his protection into the water whilst he leant against a tree and finished his pork pie, and day-dreamed about being PM.

Seeing that this was having no effect Mr Prescott then discarded his lunch and jumped into the water with the impact of a meteor the size of New York falling into the ocean. The river did the decent thing and immediately dispersed over the landscape, and the kayaker, once retrieved from the top of a nearby tree was especially pleased to be saved.

He then continued his Moses like crusade against water on a visit to the poor Cornish town of Boscastle, who suffered a terrible tragedy this week. He failed to mention that he may have inadvertently been the cause of all this on-rushing water, but he offered his support anyway.

There's no basis to the rumour that on meeting Mr Prescott the villager in the photo said:

"its a pity you weren't here yesterday when it was raining, we could have wedged you under that bridge and saved ourselves a lot of hassle"